Optimism Challenged

For as long as I can remember, I have always been the ultimate optimist.  I have the uncanny ability to find the silver lining in any 'cloud', and can always find the positivity throughout the worst of circumstances.  At times others have been frustrated from my inability to feel the negative effects of situations, often expressing that I don't truly learn from my mistakes if I don't experience the backlash.  I have always seen my optimism as a strength, and I will continue to feel that way for the rest of my days, but it can be difficult to maintain at times.

I currently work as a substance abuse counselor with juveniles, which has proven to be a true test of my unconditional optimism.  Each day I feel a bit of my soul challenged, and have most recently questioned the cost of such a profession on someone with my personality.  The battle goes as follows...

These kids need someone with the unshakeable ability to 'look on bright side' and present them with a different, more productive perspective that they have yet to consider

vs

at what cost to myself?

Like my previous post I will never have all the answers, but I will never quit asking all the questions.  I will continue to question my priorities, and determine what I hope to achieve within my life.  Do I want to risk becoming 'jaded', and allowing myself to be 'hardened' by the harsh reality of the world we live in?  At this point that is a sacrifice I have accepted and embraced, but struggle with.  At times I feel overwhelmed, defeated and discouraged, but on my best of days I feel exhilerated, fulfilled and pushed.

How do I end this blog?  I suppose I end it by saying, that today was another day that I felt doubts, but that is okay.