Amigaaaaaas

I less then proudly admit that I have always cared too much what others think.  Whether it be insecurity, envy or societal influence, I'm not sure, but it is a part of me.  Fortunately I have grown over the years and finally feel comfortable exploring my individuality (despite the fact that I still care what others, probably more than I should).  I am eternally grateful for two close friends who helped me embrace my 'Me' after becoming friends a decade ago.

As a sophomore in high school I was shallow, insecure and an adolescent who tried WAY too hard.  I wanted to be liked, accepted, and popular.  That meant absolutely everything to me.  That desperation to be cool had bit me in the ass, as I had fallen into the drama and gossip of high school.  I frequently repeated secrets told to me in confidence and did everything I could to get a leg up socially.  Coincidentally, the very people I was trying to impress had decided I was not worthy of their friendship, and I was shunned from my group of 'friends'.  I was lost, confused and scared.  I didn't know how to start fresh at such a vulnerable age.  I reached out to a friendly acquaintance in my Spanish class named Ashley.  I basically asked if I could be her friend.  She was kind but lets be real, at 15, after being rejected by friends, she saw my plea for what it was.  I needed somebody, anybody, and she was skeptical to embrace my request.  She hesitantly introduced me to her clan, with a subtle eye roll, and that day I met Lauryn.  Both Ashley and Lauryn had their guard up, and were cynical about my intentions as a friend.  They had every right to be, but over time they accepted the friendship I was so eager to give and our bond strengthened.  We faced years of hardships, mostly due to my constant struggle to figure out what was important in life.  I broke each of their trust, and often put other things in front of our friendship, yet they still remained a constant in my life.

Today each of these woman exemplify integrity, compassion and strength to me as I continuously navigate this world.  We maintain our friendship (although I would not blame them, had they walked away from my selfish a** years ago), and I am overwhelmed with gratitude to have them in my life. 

25 is an odd age, a sort of limbo of life.  It's like you are stuck between youth and adulthood, goofy and mature, cool and responsible.  These gals have helped me flip the bird to adulthood, and accept my many imperfections.

Here is my shoutout to the two ladies who have forgiven me for the lamest sh** EVAAAAAAA...

Love you LoLo and Nissup!!