I dove into Southern Illinois head first, with little contemplation. I am notoriously impulsive, acting only on instinct and emotion as opposed to practicality. At times that has led to pain, frustration, heartache, and the list continues, but it has never led to regret. Yes, I have questioned if feeling regret is a choice or an uncontrollable emotion, but at this point in my life I no longer question much about my previous decisions.
When I chose to make the move many friends and family in my life struggled with doubt and even anger. I was defensive and unwilling to entertain their 'selfishness'. My head was in the clouds and any words not embracing my whimsy were met with resentment. When I later faced the demise of my ever so imperfect marriage, and an inevitable custody arrangement, I was once again met with doubt and frustration that I was not returning to my home.
Many of these 'wrong' choices have led to not only physical distance from family and friends, but also personal struggles. I questioned their support for me, I questioned my own decisions, and I questioned my ability as Gentry's mother.
On October 7, 2011 I quietly married Tim. I have never met an individual who has a stronger ability to empathize with others, and truly experience their feelings. I could gush about our relationship, but I have yet to find the words to truly describe what he provides within my life.
My goal is not to write about why I love my husband, despite that fact that I really really do :-). Rather, it is to explain that sometimes the wrong choices, which I have made plenty of, sometimes lead to the right places. If my calculations are correct that just might mean that they weren't wrong choices after all, but rather the right choices that I had yet to embrace.
I love this! So happy you have found happiness in your life!
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